Mods you can move this to wherever you see fit, but this is what I do with myself at 2 AM when I should be studying for finals...
The Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Hot Stove,
There were rumors and rumblings coming in droves!
The pennants were hung on the facade with care,
In hopes that Randy Johnson soon would be there!
The fans were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Championships danced in their heads;
And I in my jersey, and you in your cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.
When out in the Bronx there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to my computer to see what was the matter!
Away to the PC I flew like a flash,
To see what was going on with Steinbrenner and Cash.
The headline plastered across my home page
Gave me a start, and soon I was in a rage.
For what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a trade for Randy Johnson was drawing quite near!
With George negotiating so clever and shrewd,
I knew in a moment we must be getting screwed!
More rapid than eagles the rumors they came,
And Cash whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now Duncan! Now Navarro! Now Green and Ishii!
On Penny, on Weeden, On Koplove, oh gee!
To the top of the league, to the top of them all,
Randy's replica jerseys will be flying off the wall!
We won't have much time to let the ink dry,
Before he steps up and lets the first fastball fly,
So up to the Stadium we'll travel with delight,
Opening Day vs. the Sox, it'll be such a sight!
Then suddenly a twinge I heard from his knee;
Gene Monahan rushed to the mound to look and see,
I craned my neck from the bleachers to get a look,
Knowing that Ishii was there if Johnson got the hook.
Then off the field Randy began to limp,
Crap! We just gave a three-year extension to a gimp!
A bundle of treasure we dealt for this guy,
And now all the Bronx faithful can do is sigh.
His knee - how it twisted; his mouth in a frown!
His elbow was hurting and his release point was down!
His 6'10" frame was slumped down in shame,
Never would he have a World Series to his name.
His pride he held close when the boos began to pour,
And up in centerfield they flashed the Dodger score.
One to nothing final? Vaz shut 'em out again?
Is he ever going to lose? I'd like to know when!
Javy's stringing up zeroes while Randy's on the shelf,
I laughed at that thought in spite of myself.
But a wink of Cashman's eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Calling all the GMs like some kind of jerk,
And trading Hughes, Cano, and White all in one deal,
He got us a guy that would sure be a steal,
"I hear this Jon Lieber, he isn't half bad,
He's coming back to the Bronx, so don't you be sad!"
But I heard Cash exclaim, as he ran out of sight,
"Happy Hot Stove to All, and to All a Good Night!"
The Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Hot Stove,
There were rumors and rumblings coming in droves!
The pennants were hung on the facade with care,
In hopes that Randy Johnson soon would be there!
The fans were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Championships danced in their heads;
And I in my jersey, and you in your cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.
When out in the Bronx there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to my computer to see what was the matter!
Away to the PC I flew like a flash,
To see what was going on with Steinbrenner and Cash.
The headline plastered across my home page
Gave me a start, and soon I was in a rage.
For what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a trade for Randy Johnson was drawing quite near!
With George negotiating so clever and shrewd,
I knew in a moment we must be getting screwed!
More rapid than eagles the rumors they came,
And Cash whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now Duncan! Now Navarro! Now Green and Ishii!
On Penny, on Weeden, On Koplove, oh gee!
To the top of the league, to the top of them all,
Randy's replica jerseys will be flying off the wall!
We won't have much time to let the ink dry,
Before he steps up and lets the first fastball fly,
So up to the Stadium we'll travel with delight,
Opening Day vs. the Sox, it'll be such a sight!
Then suddenly a twinge I heard from his knee;
Gene Monahan rushed to the mound to look and see,
I craned my neck from the bleachers to get a look,
Knowing that Ishii was there if Johnson got the hook.
Then off the field Randy began to limp,
Crap! We just gave a three-year extension to a gimp!
A bundle of treasure we dealt for this guy,
And now all the Bronx faithful can do is sigh.
His knee - how it twisted; his mouth in a frown!
His elbow was hurting and his release point was down!
His 6'10" frame was slumped down in shame,
Never would he have a World Series to his name.
His pride he held close when the boos began to pour,
And up in centerfield they flashed the Dodger score.
One to nothing final? Vaz shut 'em out again?
Is he ever going to lose? I'd like to know when!
Javy's stringing up zeroes while Randy's on the shelf,
I laughed at that thought in spite of myself.
But a wink of Cashman's eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Calling all the GMs like some kind of jerk,
And trading Hughes, Cano, and White all in one deal,
He got us a guy that would sure be a steal,
"I hear this Jon Lieber, he isn't half bad,
He's coming back to the Bronx, so don't you be sad!"
But I heard Cash exclaim, as he ran out of sight,
"Happy Hot Stove to All, and to All a Good Night!"
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